Feathery Menaces
by SilverWolf7
Summary: Lucifer leaves Chloe to deal with the police (if she can in her shock) so he could go home and heal his wings. He forgot Dan and Ella were there and crash lands on his balcony. Ooops. Post A Devil of my Word.


Post season 3 fic, in which not only Chloe finds out, but so do Dan and Ella. Because I wanted their reactions more than I ever wanted Chloe's. I always liked the idea of Chloe being the last to find out and now that's ruined forever, boo. Ah well, there's still AU fan fic :P But this one is to counter all the Deckerstar fics that sprang out of the finale.

Because, yeah, as much as people would like to think knowing won't change anything...it literally changes everything.

So, have some more lives changed.

* * *

Feathery Nuisances

Chloe froze.

She now knew the truth and she froze. It was Linda all over again. And to top it all off, he could hear incoming sirens from one of the police cars coming closer and closer in the silence that had descended in the room.

He thought he'd never be able to hide his face behind the much more usual look he wore on Earth, but he managed it. Good, he could still exist on Earth then. He had begun worrying over that.

He did have a bit of a problem though. He couldn't be seen with all this carnage around him, especially his feathers. So, as fast as angelically possible, he stashed the bloody and broken feathers into a bag he found near where Marcus's dead carcass was and zipped it up.

The squealing of tyres was heard. "Oh, I'm really sorry for ditching you in this state, Detective, but I've got to fly."

And with that, he unfurled his aching wings and took off towards home.

He had no idea how he managed that without falling right back to the ground. By the time Lux was in sight, his right wing was cramped into the position it was in and his left was bleeding worse than the other and was beginning to swell.

Needless to say, his landing was a little rough when he reached the balcony to his flat. Wings askew and now both of them were stiff and stuck out, he was just glad he had made it home before they gave out while in mid air. He couldn't even fold them up in a more comfortable position. They were just stuck wide out.

He lay down on a sun lounge on the balcony, putting down the top half so he could lay straight on his front.

He heard the door open but was in too much pain to really think why that might be. His first thought was Amenadiel or Charlotte, before he remembered that it couldn't be either of them.

That made him sad on top of shot.

"Holy...Lucifer?!"

Oh, it was Ella. Oh, it was Ella! Shit. He raised his head.

"Please, Ms Lopez, don't run away. I need help right now and you're here and available."

She stared at the bloody and wrecked wings and up to his face. "What am I supposed to do?!"

"You could start by getting the bullets out. They really hurt, you know."

Footsteps sounded from inside before Dan poked his head around the corner to see them and stared. "Oh holy...are those wings?!"

Lucifer groaned and rolled his eyes. He would have thrown his hands up in the air but a) he was lying down and b) it would pull his muscles and make his wings move. "No, they're your imagination. What do you think they are?! I've also been shot in case that wasn't bloody obvious. I need the bullets out. They're not healing."

He should have started healing as soon as he was away from Chloe, but he hadn't. Had Cain gotten his hand on a weapon that could actually do damage other than Maze's blade? It was possible. Melting that and turning it into bullets was so unfair.

For the first time since moving to Earth, he was glad he had his wings.

"I don't know if I can do this, Lucifer."

He moaned and rubbed his head against the lounge. "Well then call Linda. She'll do it for me. Just tell her I was shot in my wings."

Ella blinked, before going back inside. He hoped she was doing what he had told her to.

Dan was still staring in shock at his wings. Thankfully, the blood seemed to level off the divine madness some people went through upon sight of an angel's wings.

"You said that Charlotte went to Heaven?"

He sighed and closed his eyes. "Yes, I did. She originally went to Hell. She must be really relieved to have actually turned that around. And good on her doing it in such a short amount of time."

Dan seemed to relax at that, lightly. The human man slowly walked forwards and reached out a hand.

"Uh, just so you know, they're extremely sore right now, so if you're going to touch one of the feathered menaces, please do it on a spot that isn't bleeding."

Dan found a piece of white mixed in with the red on his left wing and slowly rubbed a hand over it. The wing twitched slightly at the touch. Damn, he'd need to groom something fierce after this and have the torn feathers that are bleeding pulled out or it would never stop.

It would be really embarrassing to die of blood loss over this.

Plucked chicken, he was going to resemble a bloody plucked chicken. Or at least a chicken going through a bad moult.

Aww, crap. He'd have to regrow in the feathers. It would be easier to cut the bloody things off again and let them spontaneously regrow full and whole, but he promised Linda he wouldn't do that anymore.

He suddenly wished Chloe was there to yell at him for having such stupid thoughts.

"They're so soft. And shiny under the blood. Seriously are they glowing?"

He rolled his eyes at that one. "Daniel, stop asking stupid questions. They're angel wings. Of course they're glowing. Well, actually, it's just my wings that do. I AM Lucifer, after all.

"Of course, Light Bringer...holy shit, this is surreal."

That one made Lucifer grin and turn to him. "Thanks for not saying unreal. I would have to hit you over the head with a wing."

Dan glared at him. "Can you even move them right now?"

His mouth fell into a pout. "Not purposely, no..."

They drifted into silence that was only stopped slightly for Ella to latch her hands onto his other wing like it was a lifeline. 15 minutes later, the lift dinged and Linda hurried in, carrying her doctor's bag. She hadn't needed one of those until he had come into her life. Oops.

"Oh wow. Lucifer, what the hell happened?!"

"Had to keep Chloe safe from a wall of bullets. I covered us both in my wings. Good thing I can make them harden. Still did a while lot of damage, I lost quite a lot of feathers and my wings have locked up now. Point is, Chloe is fine and still there because the police jut showed up. I couldn't be there with a bagful of bloody feathers, could I?!"

Linda sighed. "Well, at least this certain cat is out of the bad now. Obviously everyone close to you now knows."

"Yes, except Chloe was unconscious for the wings. She saw my face."

Linda's head jerked up at that. "Oh dear. That's got to be awkward."

He grimaced. "She froze a bit like you, but she was able to speak. I couldn't bring her with me. My wings can barely hold my weight as they are, a passenger would have dropped us both out of the sky."

She nodded and patted one of his shoulders. "That sounds like something that can be salvageable."

He nodded, hoping his therapist was right. "So, bullets. They won't come out. I think they're hell forged."

"Where did he get a hell forged weap...oh, he had Maze prisoner for a while, probably from her."

"Yeah, well, he's dead now. I killed him with one of Maze's blades. If he had another of her weapons turned to bullets, it would explain why the wings aren't healing."

"Okay, then let's get this done."

Linda had Dan hold the wing he was clinging to out to its fullest reach, while Linda pulled out some tweezers and went to work getting bullets out of bone and feathers. It hurt like hell, but he put up with it, because he needed to heal as quickly as possible so he could go and check up on the Detective.

It took a half hour to do the left wing and 15 minutes to do the other. While it hurt, Linda at least knew she didn't have to be too careful and just yanked the bloody things out.

Still, it was far too long for his liking and to have two humans have to manually fold up his wings after Linda bandaged them up, felt oddly embarrassing.

Still, he felt better already.

So, at least he knew that these three won't go running for the hills. Now, all he needed was Chloe's reaction once the shock of having her entire world view turned on its head faded.

His face did tend to do more damage than his wings.

Only time would tell for that one.


End file.
